adventure!

I'm not one to really call myself an adventurer. I don't have a desire to climb mountains, swim with sharks or even travel the globe, but I do have a desire to explore two-land roads, and take less-traveled paths in the woods. Maybe I don't those are the adventures. To look for the simple opportunities that others may miss..

It may not seem like much of an adventure, but tomorrow I begin a new job. I've begun new jobs before. I've worked since I was 14 and have held 6 jobs during that time - some of the time working two jobs. But tomorrow, is a brand new environment for me! Tomorrow, I start work in a hair salon.

For anyone who knows me, this is possibly humorous. I have two hairstyles - messy bun thing, or down. 4 if you include straight or curled with curling iron. I put my makeup on in the car, when I put it on. I've never understood the point of multiple makeup brushes (but I'm willing to listen!) and I prefer comfy over put together every day.

So to realize that I'm about to start work in a hair salon where my hair must be styled, makeup done, and dressed cute and fashionably (but all black) is quite an adventure for me! It's the first time I won't have my own desk or cubical. But I'm excited! Because it's also a chance for me to help build an already incredible salon into something more awesome! It's a chance to use my organizational, administrative skills so that the stylists can focus on their skills and together we can excel! I'm giddy to start and it's crazy! I'm thrilled that God is not limited to our boxes we create. I love that He thinks bigger and broader. I love that this is my new job - not because I sought it out, but because God ordained it all so perfectly that I can't help but imagine that something cool will come from this!

Crazy Schedules = Faithfulness

Sometimes life kicks you in the tail. This has been March. It's been full of traveling (read quick trips that last less than 24 hours in the "final destination"), meetings of all varieties, new opportunities, late nights, baking - you name it, it's probably been on March's to-do list. And I'm tired. April, for now, only has a couple things on the calendar and I hope to keep it that way!

The one thing I keep thinking though is what all this busyness translates into - friendships. For years, Andy and I have longed for friendships! We've longed for drop-in friends, go out to dinner friends, girls night out friends, guys night out friends - you know, good, quality, livin-life-together friends. That's not to say we didn't have some in Florida. We did, and those couple of people we clung to for dear life. But now! Now we see the Lord's faithfulness in providing us sweet friendships and restoring the years the locusts have eaten! (Joel 1 & 2 if you don't understand the reference)

Maybe you're in the desert right now without a person to text randomly in the morning where the entire conversation consists solely of dumb #hashtags. Maybe you don't have someone who texts you out of the blue just to say hey. Maybe you don't have the friends who can commiserate about your financial situation and then remind you that people don't look at your bank account and instead see a couple in love, a family that is God-honoring, and a home full of love and laughter. Maybe, just maybe, you're beginning to give up hope that these friendships could even exist because you've been friend-less for so long.

Don't give up! For years, we have prayed and it's amazing to see God answering with friend after friend that meets our longings! Pray! Cry out to God and tell Him the desires of His heart. He is faithful!! So as I'm busy and tired and juggling my schedule, I'm also thankful. Because my crazy schedule means I have friends. My crazy schedule is a testimony of God's unfailing love.

something amazing

"What're you waiting for? I dunno! Something amazing I guess!"

This is a quote from The Incredibles. As I watched it last night with my kiddo, this quote stuck out to me. Maybe it's because I often find myself living life like this. I wait for something...the house to be clean, my mental to-do list completed, enough money in the bank, whatever...and I don't know what I'm waiting for- just something amazing I guess!

But parenting isn't really about any one amazing thing is it? Because once the diapers are all changed, potty training begins, then homework, then teaching them to drive, then college, then planning a wedding, then loving your child's child, etc. 

No the amazing things aren't massive at all. In fact, they're rather easy to miss. The unexpected slobbery kiss, hearing him greet me with "good morning", finally figuring out how to twirl the whirly pop handle because he loves helping mommy make popcorn, running to me with a book wanting to read it to me - these are my something amazing in parenting.

There are days when I think it'll be amazing when I don't have a rugrat and instead have a school-age kid. There are days, if I'm being honest, I can't wait to be an empty-nester. But then I ask myself, "what am I waiting for?" I have an incredible husband, a beautiful home, a full pantry, an amazing son, and many more blessings. I don't need to wait for anything because if I look around my life is something amazing, I guess. 

Shallow

Today I'm thankful for...

1. I can feel my rib cage. Not in a creepy protruding bc I need to eat kind of way, but in a I'm finally seeing myself getting to where I need to be health wise way! 

2. I can consistently take pictures without a double chin making an appearance 

3. My son loves to watch the Aristocats with me

4. Chocolate covered gummy bears

5. Starbucks gift cards (always the perfect gift for me!)

6. Pinterest. Found some fun ideas for the 5th annual Schelb Oscar Party!! 

7. My son loves to dance, especially to jazz and it's adorable!!! 

(Mid dance)

Pretty shallow right? But it's ok, because it's a starting point towards being thankful for everything. I'm a realist & a melancholy introvert. Combine the two and I usually spot the negative first especially when I'm people-ed out. And boy am I! It's been a long couple weeks and will continue to be. I'm weary and spent; but I'm learning to be grateful. It doesn't matter if they're silly shallow things or deep & meaningful. What matters is that I realize that everything big or small is a gift from God. I have more than I ever need and so for that I'm thankful! And today that looks like eating chocolate gummy bears and dancing to Aristocats 😀

Unsolicited Marriage Advice

Starbucks has been my safe haven since I could drive. It's the place I go to think, to write, to dream, to study, to detox, to calm down, to get to know friends better, to draw close to Jesus, to observe, and more. 

Why? No clue. I'm not a big coffee drinker and don't relish spending $4-5 for a drink that doesn't wow me (except for the peppermint white chocolate mocha frappucino). Maybe it's the people watching opportunities, the way all sorts of people from all walks of life intersect over expensive coffee. Regardless, it is my happy place.

What does this have to do with marriage? Plenty. Andy is an extrovert. He recharges around large crowds, stores, concerts, etc. The more lively the situation the more cozy he feels...crowds = a bear hug for Andy most days. I am an introvert. Christmas parties, Sunday school get togethers, even having middle schoolers to our house all send me into mini anxiety attacks. And after a week like I've had of nonstop people both in my house and all around, I'm done. I need to get away from everyone I know including my awesome hubby and cuddly toddler. I recharge by myself. I think I'd thrive in solitary confinement some days (only kidding...I think). Starbucks is that place.

In other, more concise, words, Andy and I are polar opposites. In our 5+ years of marriage the biggest asset of our marriage (aside from Jesus) is our understanding that we are opposites. We like to say to each other "I get you even when I don't get you". We may not relate or identify with the emotions the other is feeling, but we choose to get each other. To accept it and embrace it as part of what drew us to each other in the first place. 

So all this preamble leads me to this...Andy has now learned to look ahead. To see when I'm about to explode from over-peoplization, and release me of my duties and instead send me on my way to Starbucks. And I know when Andy needs to go to walmart or the mall 

and simply meander (best case scenario is with me and the munchkin). We get each other even though we don't get each other. 

It's easy in a marriage, especially one with kids, to fall into a routine. That's not bad unless you start overlooking you & your spouses individual needs. My advice: be observant and encourage your spouse (before the breaking point) to take a timeout and recharge. Choose to get each other even when you simply don't get each other.

(Written at Starbucks)  :)

Disappointment

Today was a momentous day. Not because of something great, but rather some serious disappointment. The actual situation doesn't matter, but what matters is for the first time I let Reed down. Not myself in my lofty expectations...but I realistically let Reed down.

He won't remember it, and it's not the end of the world. But for me it matters and I remember it. I'm so disappointed that I let him down. But then it hit me...it will happen again.

Not this situation again, but other things. There might be that toy we don't get him that he really really wants but we can't/won't spend the money on it. There might be that first car he wants that he doesn't get. There will be big and small things throughout his life where his mom & dad disappoint - and it has to be ok. 

I am not perfect. I'm not Pinterest perfect...I'll never be super stylish, put effort into my hair, fix the greatest lunchbox lunches, have a spotless house, make the cutest crafts, buy the most healthy groceries, or whatever else we moms are "supposed" to do. I will let Reed down. I will disappoint. Because I'm not God. 

God is the perfect parent - our Abba. He gets it right. He perfectly protects, perfectly loves, perfectly serves, perfectly provides...He's perfectly perfect. He is my example and I strive to be that. But I'm not. 

So what can I do? Sit back and become lackadaisical about parenting? No! I have to pick myself up and handle it. And today that's what I did. I apologized to Reed even though he won't remember it. I explained that I'll let him down even though I don't want to. I reminded him that I'm not perfect but God is...and that He's really the best one to rely on. And I promised that I would keep striving to be my best. 

So disappointment happened today, but it's ok. Tomorrow is another day...for triumphs and disappointments. What matters is how we handle it.

Hospitality redefined

When you think of hospitality do you think of women in your church who wear matching shirts or aprons and say hi to people as they enter a women's ministry event?

Perhaps you think of a hospitality table or tent at an event - that place that provides information and assistance on where to go, the things offered, etc.

Or maybe it is simply a word you don't think of. There's a trend pattern I've been noticing in people - especially us married women. (And before I go here, I realize not everyone is this way. I realize some people excel at the things I'm about to talk on.) We seem to forget how much we need friends. We know our kids need friends so we have play dates, and as a result our friends are the parents of our child's friends. Or we acknowledge our need for friends, but do nothing to engage in purposeful time with them. We say hi to them as we pass in the hallways at church, uttering that all too familiar phrase "lets get together soon!". It comes from a sincere place, but frankly it probably won't happen. Because there's soccer (or volleyball, track, football, cheer, dance, puppetry, invisible swimming or any other possible extracurricular we can have our kids in), homework, work, projects on the house, cleaning the house, etc. Or maybe for us younger moms our lives are dominated by feeding schedules, nap times, bed times, squeezing in a bath and teeth brushing (seriously, no one gets both of those done on the same day right?!?! or am I alone?) and then finally settling in with the hubs to share a few moments of silence before we crash into the pillow and start the day again - when do we have time for girls nights or even lunch?

We're busy. I get it. I am too! However, it's time to do something about it.

"Creativity is the ability to see relationships where none exist."
- Thomas Disch

Maybe that's the key. To see relationships where none exist. For instance, in a week a friend of mine is coming over on a Saturday and is helping me declutter our guest room/office before my inlaws come in town. It's going to be messy and a true insight into the "clean" house she's seen several times before. But she will be a third party ruthless purger and I need that. So I'm letting down my pride and letting my friend in. It'll be quality time spent with, I'm sure, lots of laughter. Cleaning my clutter and working on a friendship - a relationship where none should exist. But it works!

Another friend and I have run errands around town before, kids in tow - mundane, nothing special, an opportunity to get to know this precious friend better and just live life together.

Or perhaps we need to get serious about our homes. We have these homes that we stress over keeping clean, that we decorate just so, that we spend time in - why not show it off? Even if the floor is dirty or the dishes aren't clean. Maybe we just need to invite people over - whether we have tons in common or not. What's the harm in having them once?

This is something Andy and I take pretty serious. That sounds silly - having people over and throwing parties really is serious business for us though. That's ultimately why we have a guest book at our entry way. It's two-fold: 1) it's fun! but 2) it keeps us accountable - if it's been a while since we've had people, or if its the same people that book serves a reminder to get out invite people in more. We've become friends with all sorts of different people in our church this way. We've also connected people who never knew each other and they've become friends too. It's awesome! Just the other night I hosted a girls night in. Nothing fancy - everyone brought an appetizer or dessert and we played board games. We laughed and had fun (and hardly mentioned kids!!), but the coolest part was looking around at the differences in my living room. Some have kids, some don't. Some have grown kids, I have a toddler. I was the youngest - there were women who could be my mom. We shouldn't have fun together if you look only at demographics. But we do! And not just because they're all godly ladies, but because we all have a need for people to give us advice, encourage us, listen to our heart aches, and laugh with over Apples to Apples. And that's what happened!

Rereading this I wonder if this blog is all over the place...or if it sounds like I'm bragging. I'm not trying to. I fail miserably at friendships and creativity within those. I've let good friends fall by the wayside from time to time. But I am passionate about it!

We must get creative. Read the Bible - look at the lives of the disciples and the early church. The coolest thing that sticks out to me? They lived LIFE together. Not just fun exciting things. They faced hardships together. They went to wedding and parties together. They fished (grocery shopped?) together. They read God's word together. They didn't just get together for an organized Bible Study or fun event. They didn't wave at each other or only talk about their kids. They lived life together.

That's what hospitality looks like I think. That's what discipleship, evangelism, ministry, and at the base of it all Christ looks like. The ability to see relationships where none exist. There is no time like the present. We can do it. We as moms of munchkins or empty nesters. We as women, working or stay at home. Carve out time...whether it's 10 minutes dropping off cookies unexpectedly, an hour of pb & j lunches in your messy house, or 5 hour game nights. Let's get intentional. Let's get creative. Let's revolutionize friendships in our busy lives!