I'm terrified of being a bad mother. Silly? Probably, but last night I had a meltdown with Andy saying that in 11ish weeks we're going to be sent home from the hospital with our child and what then? I want to be the best mom around. To make time for my child above housework or my endless to-do lists that run in my head constantly. I want to make sure that I work hard and play hard with Reed. Andy reassured me that I'll be a great mom, but it's still something on my heart.
I don't think it's such a bad thing. Yes, the terror part is an overreaction and a result of Satan attacking me with worry, doubts, and fear. But the caution isn't so bad. I tend to be very rigid on myself - I have a constant mental to do list and I push myself to get things done...whether they be fun or chores or whatever. So for me to already be cautious of how I spend my time once Reed is here is good I think. I don't want to miss out on moments with my family because there's a load of laundry waiting to be done or the house needs to be dusted.
Two different places now I've seen this article listed. I finally read it :) It's challenging stuff - in a good way. So as I think about becoming a mom in just a few short weeks I'm left to ponder the truths of this article and begin now thinking about how to share the gospel with Reed - even as a wee one - in all I do
Live the gospel in the things that no one sees. Sacrifice for your children in places that only they will know about. Put their value ahead of yours. Grow them up in the clean air of gospel living. Your testimony to the gospel in the little details of your life is more valuable to them than you can imagine. If you tell them the gospel, but live to yourself, they will never believe it. Give your life for theirs every day, joyfully. Lay down pettiness. Lay down fussiness. Lay down resentment about the dishes, about the laundry, about how no one knows how hard you work.quote from this article