Hope

Psalm 33:20 - We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield.

Without going into details that I can't freely share, for the past several years Andy and I have been praying and hoping for something. I'm talking praying like Hannah at the Temple. I'm talking hoping when it seems absurd to not give up. For years! I've alluded to it from time to time on this blog - doors opening and then slamming shut. During this time we've seen God continue to work in us and through us. We don't understand how He is still able to make beauty from the ashes of this circumstance - but He is able! It's been great to see God's mercy and blessings even in the midst of so much longing and seeking. But to be honest, I've grown weary. I can say all the right things and truly believe that God will answer us (with more than a wait) in His perfect timing - but on a day to day, minute by minute basis I've grown weary.

Now a new door has appeared before us.

On a side note: remember the scene from Monster's Inc. where there is the conveyer belt of doors and they're searching for Boo's door? Yeah, that's kind of how I feel a lot of the times. Jumping through doors that aren't the right ones, running - trying to escape.


So a new door has appeared. And I must say, I'm more excited about this one than any other in a very long time. I know a few reasons why, but really, I don't have real reason to be excited yet. The details are vague, the likelihood not that much better than any other door as of yet - but yet I hope. It's amazing to me that I can still hope in our situation even though we've been told no so many times. I wonder if Hannah felt the same - if she wondered why she still got her hopes up every time she went before the Lord, even though year after year and she was childless and ridiculed by Penninah. Either way, I have my hope in the Lord. He is my help and my shield. He knows what's best.