Thursday, May 10, 2012


I get overwhelmed so easily these days. My heart becomes anxious. I worry. I worry that I'm not doing a good enough job at work because I'm literally too physically exhausted and mentally tapped out with this pregnancy to keep up the same work pace I used to. (No one at work has noticed any difference in my performance.) I worry that I'm not prepared and ready yet for Reed since his nursery is still not set up. (Children all over this world never have their own room/nursery so why am I so worried?) I worry that I won't know what to do with Reed when he comes and somehow I'll mess up. I worry I'm too emotional or not emotional enough - depending on the day. I worry that my physical pain and mental exhaustion leaves me a poor excuse for a wife for my husband these days. I worry that I'm slacking as a pastor's wife when I miss church to take time to rest instead of going to church. I worry.

Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

I read articles, tweets, and blogs from other moms who seem to have it together and I wonder if I'll have it together - ever. I wonder if I'll be able to let the housework go and play with my family. I wonder if I'll pick the battles wisely as Reed grows up. I wonder if I'll know how to balance work and being there for all of Reed's school functions, sporting events, etc as he grows up. I wonder if I'll be able to balance being a wife and mom and not slight either of my guys. I wonder.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: Ecclesiastes 3:1

I take comfort in the fact that God appointed me, at this moment in history, to become a mother. I take comfort knowing that His plan is perfect and His timing is never off. I worship Him knowing that no good thing will He withhold from me - He won't withhold wisdom when I need it, or patience when I lack it, or any other need. I worship Him for His ways are good and His mercies are new every morning. I worship Him because He has blessed me so richly! I worship.
Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. Psalm 100:2


Anonymous said...

Love n Hugs! Mimi