This week I found out someone we know has an inoperable cancerous mass. The other details don't matter. It sucks.
When people hear things like this they often say things like "God's in the business of miracles/healing"." Or "God can do anything." And it's true. I don't deny that one bit! In fact I whole heartedly believe it. However, these statements -they don't seem sufficient. They feel empty. They're what you say to fill up space, because how do you really respond? How do you explain that you'll pray along with them, wrestle with God alongside them, and support irregardless.
I've been reading Job again recently. The thing that's striking to me is that Job asks God a lot of questions, says he'd be better off dead and yet he's still defined as full of integrity. That never changes. He wrestles with God's plans and actions but it's ok.
Jacob wrestled with God, walked with a limp the rest of his life, but is still mentioned in the Faith chapter (Hebrews 11).
So the reason I don't say "God can do it; pray for a miracle" is simply this... He can. But will He?
Paul prayed 3 times for God to remove the "thorn in his flesh" but He never did. People pray for babies, but sometimes God doesn't grant it. I've known numerous people who have died from cancer...kids, teens, aunts, grandparents, friends, newlyweds. God could've healed them. But sometimes He doesn't. I don't know why. All I know is this...
“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the LORD. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8, 9 NLT)
So I pray. I beg for a miracle this time as I have the other times. But I am also wrestling, because He can, but will He?