Monday, October 21, 2013

Glittered squirrels

Since July 29 I feel like my life has been full of squirrels for thoughts. Not necessarily bad, just everywhere...branch to branch. Some of these squirrels are glittery and happy; some not so much. But either way, I'm ready for the squirrels to go hibernate.

Some might say I'm grieving. I have no clue. I do know my melancholy side is peaking through a good bit. But if I am grieving it's not for one thing. I think I'm most grieved that I'm here, on this earth, instead of in heaven where I want to be. I long for home...real, eternal, home. Not in a morbid suicidal way, but in a way that no matter how swank the hotel room it's still not your home. 

I heard of a woman who died Thursday...she was 24 and knew something was off but never went to her doctor. By the time she went, the breast cancer had spread to her brain and she had less than 2 days. Depressing right? But it gives me a sense of urgency to be intentional. I want my life to count. I don't want to lived scared of a diagnosis, of failure, of anything.