Hospitality redefined

When you think of hospitality do you think of women in your church who wear matching shirts or aprons and say hi to people as they enter a women's ministry event?

Perhaps you think of a hospitality table or tent at an event - that place that provides information and assistance on where to go, the things offered, etc.

Or maybe it is simply a word you don't think of. There's a trend pattern I've been noticing in people - especially us married women. (And before I go here, I realize not everyone is this way. I realize some people excel at the things I'm about to talk on.) We seem to forget how much we need friends. We know our kids need friends so we have play dates, and as a result our friends are the parents of our child's friends. Or we acknowledge our need for friends, but do nothing to engage in purposeful time with them. We say hi to them as we pass in the hallways at church, uttering that all too familiar phrase "lets get together soon!". It comes from a sincere place, but frankly it probably won't happen. Because there's soccer (or volleyball, track, football, cheer, dance, puppetry, invisible swimming or any other possible extracurricular we can have our kids in), homework, work, projects on the house, cleaning the house, etc. Or maybe for us younger moms our lives are dominated by feeding schedules, nap times, bed times, squeezing in a bath and teeth brushing (seriously, no one gets both of those done on the same day right?!?! or am I alone?) and then finally settling in with the hubs to share a few moments of silence before we crash into the pillow and start the day again - when do we have time for girls nights or even lunch?

We're busy. I get it. I am too! However, it's time to do something about it.

"Creativity is the ability to see relationships where none exist."
- Thomas Disch

Maybe that's the key. To see relationships where none exist. For instance, in a week a friend of mine is coming over on a Saturday and is helping me declutter our guest room/office before my inlaws come in town. It's going to be messy and a true insight into the "clean" house she's seen several times before. But she will be a third party ruthless purger and I need that. So I'm letting down my pride and letting my friend in. It'll be quality time spent with, I'm sure, lots of laughter. Cleaning my clutter and working on a friendship - a relationship where none should exist. But it works!

Another friend and I have run errands around town before, kids in tow - mundane, nothing special, an opportunity to get to know this precious friend better and just live life together.

Or perhaps we need to get serious about our homes. We have these homes that we stress over keeping clean, that we decorate just so, that we spend time in - why not show it off? Even if the floor is dirty or the dishes aren't clean. Maybe we just need to invite people over - whether we have tons in common or not. What's the harm in having them once?

This is something Andy and I take pretty serious. That sounds silly - having people over and throwing parties really is serious business for us though. That's ultimately why we have a guest book at our entry way. It's two-fold: 1) it's fun! but 2) it keeps us accountable - if it's been a while since we've had people, or if its the same people that book serves a reminder to get out invite people in more. We've become friends with all sorts of different people in our church this way. We've also connected people who never knew each other and they've become friends too. It's awesome! Just the other night I hosted a girls night in. Nothing fancy - everyone brought an appetizer or dessert and we played board games. We laughed and had fun (and hardly mentioned kids!!), but the coolest part was looking around at the differences in my living room. Some have kids, some don't. Some have grown kids, I have a toddler. I was the youngest - there were women who could be my mom. We shouldn't have fun together if you look only at demographics. But we do! And not just because they're all godly ladies, but because we all have a need for people to give us advice, encourage us, listen to our heart aches, and laugh with over Apples to Apples. And that's what happened!

Rereading this I wonder if this blog is all over the place...or if it sounds like I'm bragging. I'm not trying to. I fail miserably at friendships and creativity within those. I've let good friends fall by the wayside from time to time. But I am passionate about it!

We must get creative. Read the Bible - look at the lives of the disciples and the early church. The coolest thing that sticks out to me? They lived LIFE together. Not just fun exciting things. They faced hardships together. They went to wedding and parties together. They fished (grocery shopped?) together. They read God's word together. They didn't just get together for an organized Bible Study or fun event. They didn't wave at each other or only talk about their kids. They lived life together.

That's what hospitality looks like I think. That's what discipleship, evangelism, ministry, and at the base of it all Christ looks like. The ability to see relationships where none exist. There is no time like the present. We can do it. We as moms of munchkins or empty nesters. We as women, working or stay at home. Carve out time...whether it's 10 minutes dropping off cookies unexpectedly, an hour of pb & j lunches in your messy house, or 5 hour game nights. Let's get intentional. Let's get creative. Let's revolutionize friendships in our busy lives!

Reality Check

Our new church is giving us a nice amount of money to cover moving expenses. With 2 months left on our current lease, the cost of a rental truck, and other things this is awesome! We even had planned, after budgeting everything out, on spending leftover money on purchasing some new furniture - adios hand-me-down furniture, hello adult furniture!

Instead, I say hold on a minute furniture, hello unforseen bills! A trip to the dentist, expensive repairs on Andy's car (which isn't worth it so we're selling it and going to be a 1 car family - again - for a bit), and more means what we thought was smooth sailing became a bit of a rough sea. But oddly enough, Andy and I both have a peace. We know God has called us to move to DBBC and we couldn't be more excited! We know that Chattanooga is EXACTLY where God has placed us, and He knew these circumstances long before us. That doesn't mean though that I'm not confused and frustrated by these new hiccups.

And so as Christmas is just 6 days away and our move is 8 days away and these things have all taken place, I think of Mary. Mary (and Joseph for that matter) had everything figured out. She was engaged to a great man, a carpenter who was good at his trade. They would have a nice, comfortable life together full of love - content with whatever God blessed them with. She was looking forward to her wedding day and the start of a new life with the man she had come to love and respect. Life was coming together and it seemed perfect. And then life took a turn no one would have ever imagined. Angels, virgin births, giving birth in a stable - those things are crazy, and definitely not part of the life Mary would lead...right? In a moment, everything she and Joseph knew - every ounce of stability and roots - were yanked away and a new version of perfect began. A Perfect that Mary never imagined having. She became the mother to the Son of God, the long-awaited Messiah! She did - a teenage girl who was just going about life day dreaming of her wedding day trying to live a life pleasing to her Lord!

And once again perspective is restored to my life. No, I'm not giving birth to the Son of God, but we are uprooting ourselves to serve Him. And we haven't had angels come, and thank goodness I didn't give birth to Reed in a stable (can I get an amen?), but things have taken a surprising turn. But like Mary, I know that God's ways are so much bigger than mine, and I would much rather He receive the glory that me. So I will rest, and trust, and most importantly "be still and know" that He is God!

Shepherds & Wise Men

3 He was despised and rejected by mankind,
    a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces
    he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.

⁴ Surely he took up our pain
    and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
    stricken by him, and afflicted.
⁵ But he was pierced for our transgressions,
    he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
    and by his wounds we are healed.
⁶ We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
    each of us has turned to our own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
    the iniquity of us all.

Almost all of us know these verses...maybe even the passage it's from -Isaiah 53. But the other day I read this chapter a different way.

Verse 7 hit me: He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth.

Imagine. Imagine that you were one of the shepherd boys who heard the angels and went to the cave behind the inn to see a baby - the baby. Imagine that you, just a teenager in ragged clothes smelling like sheep, are bowing before this manger, perhaps not even realizing why you're compelled to kneel in His presence. And now, fast forward 33 years. Imagine you're watching this man Jesus hang on the cross. You hear the jeers and taunts from the Pharisees. You see people crying and others disgusted. And you don't hear Jesus say anything in response. Perhaps you'd forgotten about that baby, and gone on about your life still longing for a Messiah. Or maybe you knew he was the Messiah, and you'd gone to listen to him preach every chance you could. Either way, as you see Him hanging there, you realize you're seeing prophecy being fulfilled before your eyes! You remember hearing this passage preached in the Temple; you know how silently the sheep go to their shearer. And now, you see the Lamb of God also being led; He's silent except to beg for their forgiveness. And once again you're compelled to kneel. 

Then I thought of the Wise Men. These men who were revered and favored for their ability to "foretell" events and predict things. They saw the star, and knew it was something special. They followed it - leaving behind their conveniences. They went to go seek out a toddler - imagine! You leave behind the comforts of home to travel for months upon months just to see a toddler. You know this is not just an ordinary child - He is a boy of Greatness. And so you bring gifts for the boy...gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Not a wood toy or rattle, not a bowl or a new robe. You gave him gifts fit for an adult; incense that is used in one's burial. And you kneel. You, a man of stature in your country, bow before a toddler. You realize you are in the presence of royalty. Again fast forward. Now you're an old man. You hear of Jesus' death and you suddenly realize. You reminisce to that time of travel; to seeing Jesus and his parents. And you recall the gifts you gave. Now you realize the importance of those gifts. 

This year, as we celebrate Christmas, remember that we don't know what the future holds. Scripture we read now may not sink in until a later date. The gifts we lay before God, the donations to charity or the benevolence you show this holiday season, may not show their full impact in your lifetime. But remember it matters. Your acknowledgment and worship of the King of Kings, the Lamb of God, the Savior of the world matters! O come let us adore Him! O come let us adore Him! O come let us adore Him, Christ the Lord!