Hospitality redefined

When you think of hospitality do you think of women in your church who wear matching shirts or aprons and say hi to people as they enter a women's ministry event?

Perhaps you think of a hospitality table or tent at an event - that place that provides information and assistance on where to go, the things offered, etc.

Or maybe it is simply a word you don't think of. There's a trend pattern I've been noticing in people - especially us married women. (And before I go here, I realize not everyone is this way. I realize some people excel at the things I'm about to talk on.) We seem to forget how much we need friends. We know our kids need friends so we have play dates, and as a result our friends are the parents of our child's friends. Or we acknowledge our need for friends, but do nothing to engage in purposeful time with them. We say hi to them as we pass in the hallways at church, uttering that all too familiar phrase "lets get together soon!". It comes from a sincere place, but frankly it probably won't happen. Because there's soccer (or volleyball, track, football, cheer, dance, puppetry, invisible swimming or any other possible extracurricular we can have our kids in), homework, work, projects on the house, cleaning the house, etc. Or maybe for us younger moms our lives are dominated by feeding schedules, nap times, bed times, squeezing in a bath and teeth brushing (seriously, no one gets both of those done on the same day right?!?! or am I alone?) and then finally settling in with the hubs to share a few moments of silence before we crash into the pillow and start the day again - when do we have time for girls nights or even lunch?

We're busy. I get it. I am too! However, it's time to do something about it.

"Creativity is the ability to see relationships where none exist."
- Thomas Disch

Maybe that's the key. To see relationships where none exist. For instance, in a week a friend of mine is coming over on a Saturday and is helping me declutter our guest room/office before my inlaws come in town. It's going to be messy and a true insight into the "clean" house she's seen several times before. But she will be a third party ruthless purger and I need that. So I'm letting down my pride and letting my friend in. It'll be quality time spent with, I'm sure, lots of laughter. Cleaning my clutter and working on a friendship - a relationship where none should exist. But it works!

Another friend and I have run errands around town before, kids in tow - mundane, nothing special, an opportunity to get to know this precious friend better and just live life together.

Or perhaps we need to get serious about our homes. We have these homes that we stress over keeping clean, that we decorate just so, that we spend time in - why not show it off? Even if the floor is dirty or the dishes aren't clean. Maybe we just need to invite people over - whether we have tons in common or not. What's the harm in having them once?

This is something Andy and I take pretty serious. That sounds silly - having people over and throwing parties really is serious business for us though. That's ultimately why we have a guest book at our entry way. It's two-fold: 1) it's fun! but 2) it keeps us accountable - if it's been a while since we've had people, or if its the same people that book serves a reminder to get out invite people in more. We've become friends with all sorts of different people in our church this way. We've also connected people who never knew each other and they've become friends too. It's awesome! Just the other night I hosted a girls night in. Nothing fancy - everyone brought an appetizer or dessert and we played board games. We laughed and had fun (and hardly mentioned kids!!), but the coolest part was looking around at the differences in my living room. Some have kids, some don't. Some have grown kids, I have a toddler. I was the youngest - there were women who could be my mom. We shouldn't have fun together if you look only at demographics. But we do! And not just because they're all godly ladies, but because we all have a need for people to give us advice, encourage us, listen to our heart aches, and laugh with over Apples to Apples. And that's what happened!

Rereading this I wonder if this blog is all over the place...or if it sounds like I'm bragging. I'm not trying to. I fail miserably at friendships and creativity within those. I've let good friends fall by the wayside from time to time. But I am passionate about it!

We must get creative. Read the Bible - look at the lives of the disciples and the early church. The coolest thing that sticks out to me? They lived LIFE together. Not just fun exciting things. They faced hardships together. They went to wedding and parties together. They fished (grocery shopped?) together. They read God's word together. They didn't just get together for an organized Bible Study or fun event. They didn't wave at each other or only talk about their kids. They lived life together.

That's what hospitality looks like I think. That's what discipleship, evangelism, ministry, and at the base of it all Christ looks like. The ability to see relationships where none exist. There is no time like the present. We can do it. We as moms of munchkins or empty nesters. We as women, working or stay at home. Carve out time...whether it's 10 minutes dropping off cookies unexpectedly, an hour of pb & j lunches in your messy house, or 5 hour game nights. Let's get intentional. Let's get creative. Let's revolutionize friendships in our busy lives!

Reality Check

Our new church is giving us a nice amount of money to cover moving expenses. With 2 months left on our current lease, the cost of a rental truck, and other things this is awesome! We even had planned, after budgeting everything out, on spending leftover money on purchasing some new furniture - adios hand-me-down furniture, hello adult furniture!

Instead, I say hold on a minute furniture, hello unforseen bills! A trip to the dentist, expensive repairs on Andy's car (which isn't worth it so we're selling it and going to be a 1 car family - again - for a bit), and more means what we thought was smooth sailing became a bit of a rough sea. But oddly enough, Andy and I both have a peace. We know God has called us to move to DBBC and we couldn't be more excited! We know that Chattanooga is EXACTLY where God has placed us, and He knew these circumstances long before us. That doesn't mean though that I'm not confused and frustrated by these new hiccups.

And so as Christmas is just 6 days away and our move is 8 days away and these things have all taken place, I think of Mary. Mary (and Joseph for that matter) had everything figured out. She was engaged to a great man, a carpenter who was good at his trade. They would have a nice, comfortable life together full of love - content with whatever God blessed them with. She was looking forward to her wedding day and the start of a new life with the man she had come to love and respect. Life was coming together and it seemed perfect. And then life took a turn no one would have ever imagined. Angels, virgin births, giving birth in a stable - those things are crazy, and definitely not part of the life Mary would lead...right? In a moment, everything she and Joseph knew - every ounce of stability and roots - were yanked away and a new version of perfect began. A Perfect that Mary never imagined having. She became the mother to the Son of God, the long-awaited Messiah! She did - a teenage girl who was just going about life day dreaming of her wedding day trying to live a life pleasing to her Lord!

And once again perspective is restored to my life. No, I'm not giving birth to the Son of God, but we are uprooting ourselves to serve Him. And we haven't had angels come, and thank goodness I didn't give birth to Reed in a stable (can I get an amen?), but things have taken a surprising turn. But like Mary, I know that God's ways are so much bigger than mine, and I would much rather He receive the glory that me. So I will rest, and trust, and most importantly "be still and know" that He is God!

It's my time!

Who knows? Perhaps he will give you a reprieve, sending you a blessing instead of this curse...The Lord will reply, “Look! I am sending you grain and new wine and olive oil enough to satisfy your needs. You will no longer be an object of mockery among the surrounding nations...Don’t be afraid, my people. Be glad now and rejoice, for the Lord has done great things... Rejoice, you people of Jerusalem! Rejoice in the Lord your God! For the rain he sends demonstrates his faithfulness. Once more the autumn rains will come, as well as the rains of spring. The threshing floors will again be piled high with grain, and the presses will overflow with new wine and olive oil. The Lord says, “I will give you back what you lost to the swarming locusts, the hopping locusts, the stripping locusts, and the cutting locusts. It was I who sent this great destroying army against you. Once again you will have all the food you want, and you will praise the Lord your God, who does these miracles for you. Never again will my people be disgraced. Then you will know that I am among my people Israel, that I am the Lord your God, and there is no other. Never again will my people be disgraced.

Joel 2:14, 19, 21, 23-27

I try to be considerate of other's feelings, and for that reason I'm restraining myself to an extent to say all I wish to say. However, the other day I read these verses in Joel and instantly I felt my Spirit Man jumping up and down. Y'all...the past several years have had many many growing pains. The Lord has taught us, used us, disciplined us, strengthened us, and guided us through and in so many different situations. Some were caused by God, some were allowed by God - but either way, He was glorified. And now is my time. My time to choose to praise the Lord on this side of it all. To sing his praises and declare LOUDLY and boldly that The Lord is good - his faithfulness extends to all generations! He has indeed restored the years. We see it, even as we are just entering this new chapter. And yes, there will be more tears, and growing pains, throughout this new journey but we rejoice because we have tasted and seen once more that the Lord is good. 


1 Chronicles 16:9
Sing to him; yes, sing his praises. Tell everyone about his wonderful deeds.

Psalm 40:3-4a 

He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord. Oh, the joys of those who trust the Lord...

Hospitality

Romans 12:13b - Always be eager to practice hospitality.

It's hard when the house is dirty and clothes are strewn about and the dishes have piled up and the trash needs to be taken out and the toilet needs to be cleaned and there's toothpaste oozed out onto the counter and the fridge and pantry are bare to want to invite people over. (I mean...I'm just guessing that's how other people's homes look...ahem...)

Grace Covers Me is a fantastic blog and Christine has started a link-up on the topic of hospitality! As a pastor's wife, I feel it's especially important for me to have an open door policy. But regardless of your job, or anything, we see from Romans a command to always be EAGER to practice hospitality. Does this mean that you just let people come over whenever they want unannounced? Heaven's to Betsy no! It does mean though that we be willing and happy to invite people in to see our house at it's finest when you've got it decked out for a party - and when life has just happened. You know, when you have a load of laundry just begging to be folded but you didn't get to it because playing with your child was more important, or when there's dishes in the sink because watching TV with the hubs was more important last night. It's hard for me to let people see the real us, but if we cry for transparency and honesty from others, shouldn't I be willing to be transparent with my living space?

Everyone is different, which is why the link-up. It's a fun way to see what everyone is doing, take tips and tricks, and then make your own opportunities. I hope you enjoy my ideas!

*Invite a couple from your church over for Brinner (breakfast for dinner) after evening service - it's a great way to get to know people a little better that you normally don't have time to have long conversations with

*Cookie decorating party while watching a Christmas movie or chickflick

*Open up your home for a Bible Study

*Every year, Andy and I try to have 3 traditional parties where we invite anyone and everyone and whoever shows is great: 

1. Fourth of July cookout
2. BYOP (Bring your own pumpkin) Fall party 
3. Oscar watch party (this year we even got fancy and wrapped the hot dogs (Fancy I tell you!!) in tissue paper so they looked like little tuxedos :)

*Don't be afraid to take someone up when they offer to bring something when they come over - nothing says you have to spend all the money in order to show hospitality. People like contributing! Sodas, dessert, and paper plates/napkins are always good go-to items to let someone bring if they offer

*Food doesn't have to be elaborate - it truly is the thought that counts!

*If you need to do a quick pick-up before people come over, don't stress about everything. Just toss the major items in a room where you can close the door. Keep swiffers handy and swiffer the most important places and don't worry about the nooks and crannies. 

*The quickest way to make someone feel the house is clean, even if there's miscellaneous items around, is to vaccuum... again, don't vacuum every space, just the open spaces.

 

Red Stamp

Ok, so if you know me, you know I'm not a techie person. I think I've added 3 apps to my iphone and Andy added the rest. And those three were so I could get craft coupons (Joann's and Hobby Lobby), or mobile coupons (Target). Andy gives me a "tip of the week" each week so I'll learn how to use my phone for real. I'm not really adventurous with technology is what I'm saying

Well, add another app to the list I added myself!!!! It's called Red Stamp and it allows you to create digital thank you notes, announcements, etc. Bascially, it has neat templates and then you get to write a message and add a picture to make it personal. No more cheesy cards, no more trying to send a thank you card for every little thing! Instead, take a picture of what you bought with that gift card - you drinking Starbucks, the new scarf from Target, etc - and insert it and send!

You can send it as a text message, email, save to your photos, and share on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram (if you want to send it out to a mass of people)! You can take a photo right then, insert one from your camera roll, or insert from Instagram. AND IT'S FREE!!!!!

So go, go now, search in the app store and upload this genius app. And then send someone a thank you card, a "how ya doing" card, or whatever you want! What a great way and quick way to let someone know you care!!

I am...

I am...
an introvert
a visual-learner
a lover of charts and graphs
a to-do list maker
neurotic at times
loyal (or at least I strive to be)
schnarky at times
a lover of laughter
a mother
a wife
a full-time employee
a baker
a fitness enthusiast with too little time to actually get enthused these days
a lover of most outdoor activities
imperfect
impatient
obstinate at times
moody far too often
over-achiever
over-committer

and so much more...

However,I see more and more these days that my identity doesn't matter. Because what matters, the only thing that matters, is I serve I AM. My imperfections, my hobbies, my personality - the good and the bad are overshadowed because I am loved by the Almighty God, Creator of the Universe who sent his only Son to die for me! And because of that, I can put to death my neurosis, my impatience, my schnarkiness, by to-do lists, and everything else and simply rest. Rest because of I AM, not because of who I am.

Perspective

“What we see depends mainly on what we look for.” ~ John Lubbock

“The optimist sees the donut, the pessimist sees the hole.” ~Oscar Wilde

“Often it isn't the mountains ahead that wear you out, it's the little pebble in your shoe.” ~Muhammad Ali

Perspective. How we handle life is all about this isn't? My bad days could be someone's great day. For those who have children battling cancer or facing serious health issues, your day of being exhausted because your little one is running all over may seem like a dream. For those who've had difficult pregnancies, my frustration at the inconveniences of pregnancy may seem like nothing to complain about. It's all in how we see it.

Lately, Muhammad Ali's quote would seem to apply to me. The mountains of life aren't wearing me out. I've seen them coming. I know they're there. They haven't moved; I'm the one moving - around them, closer to them - they're stable if even in a daunting way. It's the pebble(s) in my shoe that is really wearing me out these days. The unexpected things. The things that happen that interrupt my glorious plans.

“For what you see and hear depends a good deal on where you are standing: it also depends on what sort of person you are.” ~ C.S. Lewis, The Magician's Nephew

Oh, that I would be the sort of person that would use these pebbles as an opportunity to refine me. That I would stop long enough to remove my shoe, take out the pebble, and look at it. Maybe then I would see that the pebble is a precious gem. That what seemed like a wasted night because one box got packed was actually much-needed quality time with the hubs just sitting, watching tv and being. That what seems like stress and inconvenience all around, is actually God preparing me for having a little one in a few short months who will be all kinds of an inconvenience - yet such an unbelievable blessing and answer to prayer! I pray that I use these times now to be refined, so that my perspective is heavenly-minded and full of patience when Reed appears on the scene.

...And wouldn't you know it. As soon as I thought I was finished writing this post, yet another pebble showed itself. The pebble of disappointment. So here's my choice - how do I respond?

How do you respond? What are your pebbles?